March 22, 2009

Just another day, sitting on the couch, minding my own business. Then I hear the dreaded intercom call my name, imagine what Hell’s waiting room would be like, just waiting to hear if your name is called.  Every time the speaker clicks on, you hold your breath, it’s amazing we don’t all have ulcers. 

So anyway, I hear my name, I have a trip, deadheading someone, overnight, work back the early flight in the morning, ok, things could be worse. We get to the gate, it’s oversold, the gate agents have no idea that we’re supposed to be on the flight. So we call the higher-ups, they tell us it’s been taken care of and we’re now listed on the flight, which means that three people have to get kicked off.  We wait and wait and wait, oh just kidding, we’re not going anymore, and are told to return to the couch, oh joy.

So I sit, bam! Name called again, it’s a pre-board. Let me explain the irrationality of this concept. A pre-board, in theory, is supposed to have the flight boarded and ready so when the actually flight attendants that are working the flight show up they can just close the door and go.  This seems like a concept that works, it doesn’t, ever. Most of the time when you show up, they working crew is already there. FAA requires that you have all flight attendants on board (1 per 50 passengers) before boarding even one person. If you do start, the crew will show up half way through and then you stop boarding so you can switch out and get your bags off, all while people are on the plane.  Then there is the worst case, the crew doesn’t make it in time, so then all of a sudden you’re taken the flight.  

Oh and we don’t get paid to do that, not until the door is shut. My job feels like double-dutch.


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