Jumpseat Confessionals

April 6, 2009

 

Step into my office.

Step into my office.

 

A jumpseat is that tiny little seat that folds down from the wall, and where I subsequently spend most of my time while on a plane. Usually I am sharing said seat with another Flight Attendant, so needless to say very close quarters. Odds are I have never flown with or even seen this person before, so there is the typical banter that you just get used to.

“How long have you been here?”

“Where do you live?”

“What did you do before this”

You just smile and answer and then return the same questions back, if you end up flying several legs with a person you move past these initial questions and start to find out a bit more about each other. For some reason it then becomes a free-for-all of everyone’s personal life story, some are more reserved than others, but something about the jumpseat just makes everyone open up. 

People have told me everything from the several different pilots they’re sleeping with to how they hate their marriage and are thinking of leaving. Yesterday, however, I flew with a special case, she’s very new and very young, and apparently isn’t aware that there should be a work place, or in this case, a general public filter. 

Her first words on the jumpseat to me were “I have to poop.”  I wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted me to do with that information, but I’m guessing it was just a heads up that when she was on the cart doing service she would be “crop dusting” as she so delicately put it.  Unfortunately she wouldn’t be able to take a bath and clean herself up when she got home since her roommate masturbates in the shower all the time. 

Ah, we are a classy bunch.

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